Long night's journey into day....

Sunday, midnight, contrax 20 minutes apart til 2 am
2-4, 15 minutes apart
4 to 5, I slept? who knows...
5 to 7 onward, 10 minutes apart, mostly exactly.
7:30, call labor/delivery. "I think you need to come down"
pile in car... arrive at 9,
measure at 5 cm

doula at 10:30, the show begins....
2:30, call local pastor at church where i volunteer, and know lots of kids -- a place which has had something amazing to do w/this conception. tell him am in active labor and ask to be put on prayer list for family service which begins at 4 (see below)....
ow ow ow ow ow ow ow
over and over
OW OW OW OW OW

stay calm, doula brilliant, walk around, sit on ball, lean on bed, lean on her and my husband. contract 1, 2, 3, 7, 8 minutes apart, 30 to 60 seconds. are they getting more painful? sometimes, sometimes not, it's a rolling hill of pain. my mind racing throughout.
(iwantanemergencycsectionnow!!!!!!!)
(this doesn't happen)
into the shower, it's 3. the dr. has left us alone. should I be measured again? why, what will I do w/the information. my doula is briliant. I am not measured again.
When is transition? when is it beyond unbearable?
into the shower, briefly.
onto the bed
lie down and contract and sleep.
last meal was 1 am, cheerios. last sleep was 1 pm saturday.
4 pm, contract contract
water breaks
I swear I can hear this.
Doula tells staff. Nurse enters. "From the sound of you you're ready to push"
Dr. comes in fully gowned.
I don't know how to push and the contrax have stopped.
I wait for someone (someforce?) to tell me what to do.
I feel like I need to keep going.
So I push, w/out contrax

babyborn, 4:31 pm
doula tells me later, YOU WEREN'T CONTRACTING YOU WERE PUSHING HER OUT BY YOURSELF.
Which I did.
babygirl stunning.
like a little elf. Covered with the essence of the outer galaxies
crazylong fingers w/pointed nails
dark blue eyes
long
crying
....

here...


(I finished this Saturday, and we have been in nursing bootcamp pumping sleeping hell since arriving home tuesday afternoon...)

ps: for the purpose of this blog, I will be calling her vivian tho that's not her real name. it was a close contender. she's 21 inches, 7.12 lb/oz.
pps: I called Pastor S. at 2:30. Family service at church begins at 4. That's when my water broke. The kids are called up to alter to read prayer requests. According to mrs. pastor S. lotsa kids wanted to pray for me (!) totally touching.
They would have been actively praying at 4:30ish
which is when baby was born.
all pretty amazing to contemplate.....