Due late March, 2009. Still surprised.

Monday, November 24, 2008

signs

I couldn't remember when this happens, but apparently at 22 weeks there's a dark line of skin from naval to pubis. This emerged last night and today is 22 weeks. Baby is poking a lot -- more tickly than emphatic. The literature says she's still under 12 inches so it's definitely more like fairy tickling. Tinkerbell tickling.

Last night at the in-laws, my fatherinlwa who just survived a triple bypass needed to let us know that it's very important that we choose a name that the child can use for their own life. I think he's still freaked that our son has 4 names (normal first name, exotic armenian middle name, mylast, husband'slast name). Tinkerbell will be getting an armenian name as well, though we haven't picked one out of the very exotic and unusual array available.

BTW, the name I write under is that of an ancestor who never married. I like to pay her tribute, along with another ancestor Mary Jane. Both women lived more than a century ago and had notable achievements -- work that endures to this day, which is great. The males in my father's family follow the obscure farmer/mechanic model....

Saturday, November 15, 2008

out of breath

Not a good sign. My profile has changed considerably in the last 10 days and I can feel my lungs being squashed when I'm in bed. A herbalist acquaintance made the comment today that she thought I was 40. I held my thumb upward. She stopped at 45, and I still held my thumb up. It seems utterly preposterous that there's a little space traveller inside, except that I didn't (before this) FEEL 48. I see friends and others who are heavy and middleaged and at my reunion I was kind of shocked by how many lined faces there were. I do feel like I'm not in really great shape because it doesn't occur to me to do exercise beyond my dance class most of the time. Since my son has kind of outgrown all the strollers, the long strollerwalk isn't happening. Which reminds me, I'm betting right now he will be TOTALLY regressing when tinkerbell shows up. I'm writing this now so when it happens I won't be surprised.

It is really cool to be pregnant though. If only I could get a breath!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

officially 20 weeks

Back to Ob/GYN in another month. All is well, BP is 120/60; urine culture totally normal, protein within range. My belly is measuring 20 inches, in line with the weeks. The doppler showed baby thrash/kicking and strong heartbeat. Lots of movement which I'm feeling.

So I took my husband out to Outback for steak. We've had strep throat and been under the weather and steak is the only cure for him. I'm at a point in my sobriety where ordering a coca cola seems like a REALLY big celebration. Thank the lord all is well with baby 2, whom I am thinking of as Siranoush, Tinkerbell, and Principessa.....All wonderful names for the new millenium....

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

20 weeks

At this point, I'm inclined to keep this journal just for the duration of my pregnancy which is officially at the halfway mark. My husband and I have been laid low for the past week plus with what he found out today is strep and a vicious cold. So it looks like a dose of penicillan to get us back on track.

I haven't heard back from the doula we used last time -- I need to call her, but I'm just not motivated to do anything that isn't due RIGHT NOW. The baby is kicking a lot and I'm not as big as I was before. Dr. appt on Thursday. I am trying not to put on weight beyond where I started, which was at 145, totally highend for me. When I was expecting my son my START WEIGHT was 129, but after losing a few pounds from nursing, it never came off completely. Then again, I have always been borderline thin, and probably anorectic (electively so!) for most of my 20s and 30s. I don't look heavy, but to me I can feel it. At my high school reunion, there was a picture from the yearbook of me taking a grand jete down the chemistry department hallway and I wish I could do that again. Thanks to Kathy Kitschinart for the reminder bracelet. What's beeezzaaar is that I DO NOT FEEL LIKE EATING CAKE!!

Last night was the first nite of 8 hours sleep, interupted only a few times by deathrattle cough.

I have a book due at the start of January. How I am going to do this seems unimaginable.

Every day I am grateful and amazed I am pregnant and only feel the tiniest bit of panic about the How are we going to do this. Our son is the best little kid but as everyone knows life with a small child is exhausting. I see mothers much younger than me with 2, 3, even four and that's something I have never had an interest in. I really had no urgings towards hving a baby until my mid-30s, when I was living with an incredibly self-indulgent and depressed writer, whose rising success during this period only caused him greater consternation. DC was convinced he was infertile, which, giving the miserable worldview expressed in his poetry and his generally melancholic temperament makes all kinds of sense.

My husband, fortunately, is an indefatigable optimist.....

Thursday, November 6, 2008

a new president

When Nixon was elected I was sad because I knew he was the Vietnam War president. I was happy when Carter was elected, because Jerry Ford seemed accidental in so many ways. Ronald Reagan's election was literally scary. I was coming out of a club with my mucholder boyfriend after having seen the Roche Sisters, which was really lovely and people were talking on the sidewalk about Reagan and how he was going to bomb everything. GHWBush was worrying, but Mondale was so dull. And besides, that was the year before I got sober and moved very very far away. Clinton's election was great, the one bright spot in an otherwise rainy and cold fall which found me between professions for the first time in my professional life. The election of Bush 2 was appalling. We were living in the midwest and to watch the returns, and to know many many people who voted for the conartist idiot was scary. We've been in that mode for awhile. Kerry didn't seem to care and he did not project the optimism that Barack did and although I voted for Hillary in the primaries (having waiting since 1992 to vote for her for something!), it was great voting for Obama. And knowing many other different people did.

Bring on the peace, man.

Monday, November 3, 2008

How We Got Here and How We Knew It Was A Girl

in reverse order...

I started to want to wear pink in July. I have never worn pink. Well, I had an English Beat t-shirt purchased in 1984, but even in the height of my years as a rock critic, the black/pink combo passed me by. This summer, i bought 3 pink shirts and wore them. This is weeks before realizing we were expecting....


The magic/mojo that might have been involved getting pregnant may include the following:
tossing ALL maternity clothes, I literally found a bag and discarded in June --- was preg. in july (yeah, that looks like a great call from this vantage)
spending a lot of time around small children/pregnant women, due to involvement at local church afterschool in challenging neighborhood, plus my preschool son's peers, etc. Being around very needy small children who are also very poor might have triggered some hormonal thing. Honestly, I don't know.
My husband thinks it's fantastic genes and fantastic luck. I also attribute some good mojo to a really great saint, Saint Martin de Porres. He was Peruvian and a clergy friend had a connection to the shrine in TN. www.stmartinshrine.org/. I sent them some money years ago and I swear, within a month was pregnant. So I'm pretty good about sending them some cash. As an episcopagancongregationalitarian, anything goes.

I also had been taking Vitex (2 500 mg. tabs once a day for a number of months). I'd read it helped with PMS, which I'm told I have (ahem, I don't THINK I have it, anyway, don't have it NOW forsure). That may have helped and I also had been taking prental vitamins since before my son 5 years ago (yes, it was a huge bottle....)