Due late March, 2009. Still surprised.

Monday, December 21, 2009

how old am I

I realized that naming this blog this meant I was, in my head, forever 48, Should I rename and move elsewhere?

Sunday, December 6, 2009

on the pill

Second child, different child. This summer, it took all I could do to nurse, pump, nurse, pump and it still wasn't enough. I am the biggest nursing zealot I know but in August I realized we were down to 6 stockpiled frozen milk bags. We have to go on formula I found myself saying to myself, and a week later to my husband. We nursed some more but we came to a mutual conclusion that she had moved on sometime in the fall. Partly, it was the teeth -- I worked hard to nurse and pump and keep the supply up but this child really is voracious. I nursed my son exclusively through 7 months and we slowly introduced food. He was weaned at 18 months, and the last 3 months had very bad manners nursing. We'd do it but he'd have a devilish expression and then he'd bite and then he'd come off and it turned into a wrestling match which he liked.

Friends w/girls have reported the girls have weaned themselves earlier. Maybe she can be out of diapers sooner too! Anyway, I can't say I'm completely sad about this -- I have nursed my children, they are healthy, I have done what I wanted to do and I did what was best for each child. J is 95th percentile -- at 8 months she weighs a little less than half the 6 year old. She is thriving and wants to eat everything. We are holding off but there's an eagerness about food that is undeniable.

And so today, Dec. 6, I'm on the pill for the first time since...2001? I was never fully happy with the pill back in the ogod, early 80s (2 weeks), mid-80s (4 months). I went on in 2000 and had no ill F/X. I'm hoping it will be the same this time w/loestrin, or "microgestin 1/20"

It seems really crazy to worry about getting pregnant at ogod 49 and having another baby at 50 but I've had a lot -- a lot of dreams about being pregnant and they were definitely disquieting. And so now that J is having her own little meals and will probably be charged at the chinese buffet in another month, I am making this change so maybe my husband and I can have a lovelife again. Now all we need is time and circumstance.